The End of Innocence
by Maraeli
Summary: After Danny's death, Rafe and Evelyn's relationship changed forever. Can they give their love another chance, or will their past come back to haunt them? *CH 3 posted* 5.28.02 r&R!
1. Remembering Danny

[The End of Innocence]  
  
[Chapter 1: Remembering Danny]  
  
[Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Pearl Harbor characters. The story belongs to Randall Wallace, and I'm simply borrowing the characters for my story.]  
  
A/N: I was sitting around today enjoying Spring Break and this idea just popped into my head. Just some things that'll help you out with the plot: a) Danny does die in China; b) Rafe and Evelyn are together, but it's not a happy-everything-is-ok togetherness, until later (lol, I can't explain it any better than that) and c) Little Danny is Danny's son. Ok, so I hope you all like what I have so far and don't forget to review! This chapter is sort of a flashback/ intro and is done in Evelyn's POV.  
  
XoXo: Courtney  
  
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I lifted my eyes toward the plane, the plane that held Danny and Rafe. All I wanted most at that moment was to see them both alive and for all of us to be happy again.  
  
"Happy," I carelessly muttered to myself as I placed a hand on my stomach, gently stroking the child that was growing in there. Danny's child.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
I knocked at Rafe's door, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as I waited for him to open it. He flung it open and stared at me, unsure of why I was here and what I wanted.  
  
"May I come in?" I asked. He stepped back and I slowly entered the room.  
  
"Packing?" I questioned him as he tried to ignore my presence.  
  
"Orders," he mumbled quickly.  
  
"What kind of orders?" I questioned him.  
  
"The secret kind," he answered with no emotion whatsoever.  
  
"The dangerous kind," I said softly. "I can't find Danny, did he get orders too?" I questioned him. Rafe nodded.  
  
"He's probably saying goodbye to his squadron," he said willingly.  
  
I was tired of this. I was tired of him acting this way. I decided that it was now or never, and that I'd better speak up before I ended up leaving.  
  
"I couldn't have you go away without you understanding something," I said quietly as I glanced towards him. He turned away from me instead. 'Dammit Rafe,' I silently cursed in my head.  
  
"You don't need to explain," he said angrily with his back facing me.  
  
I sighed, frustrated with him and everything.  
  
"Yes I do, because you're acting like I didn't love you. You've got to get over that," I said hastily. He spun around, his face obviously red with anger.  
  
"Get over that? Loving you kept me alive, don't you understand?" he said to me.  
  
"Don't say that," I whispered.  
  
"That's what you don't want to hear! You and Danny want to forget that we ever happened, but it's not that easy for me to forget! I believed your letters, I believed you loved me, and that gave me a reason to come back," he finished angrily. "Now I feel dead. I just don't understand. Why Evelyn? Why?" he questioned me. I glanced at him, shocked.  
  
"Rafe, I don't know any other way to say this, but just to say it. I'm pregnant," I said quietly. I turned away from him then, to ashamed to confront him or even look at him anymore.  
  
"I wasn't really sure until the day you showed up alive, and then everything happened. I can't tell Danny, and neither can you. All he needs to think about is how to do this mission and get home alive," I said quickly.  
  
"I'm going to give Danny my whole heart, but I'll never write a letter, or look at a sunset without thinking of you. I'll love you my whole life," I stated, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to cascade down my cheeks. I ran past him and out the door, as he stood there, trying to comprehend what I just told him.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
The door to the plane opened just in time for me to snap out of my daydream. I stared at the entry door, daring someone, anyone to come out of it. Those wives whose husbands had not returned were hysterically sobbing into one another, and my heart went out for them. And then I saw him. Rafe. He was alive. His arm was in a sling, and he had various cuts and bruises on his forehead, but he was alive, and that was all that mattered. 'If he made it, then Danny must have too!' I said to myself as my heart fluttered in my chest. He glanced at me and I smiled at him. Instead he turned around and led a coffin down the stairs.  
  
"No," I said quietly as a single tear rolled down my cheek.  
  
This wasn't supposed to happen. Danny was supposed to be here, he was supposed to be here for our child. I stood with my feet firmly planted to the ground, unable to move. Rafe made his way over to me soon after and took me into his arms and escorted me to my car as I sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The ride home was quiet. Neither of us had the ability to say anything to each other. I placed a hand on my belly and stroked it, singing some lullaby that my mother used to sing to me, unknowingly. My mascara had left streaks on my cheeks, but I didn't care. My lips whispered the lullaby as I glanced out the car window, unable to face Rafe. I knew he was looking at me; he had been the whole time I was in the car. Danny was gone, he wouldn't be coming back. My baby was fatherless. I was alone. The car slowed to a stop, and I realized that we reached the nurses' home. Rafe exited the car and made his way towards my side and opened the door. I got out, a hard thing to do when you're six months pregnant, and walked towards the door, numb to everything and everyone around me. Rafe trailed behind me, unsure of what to say or do to make me feel better. I opened the door and made my way to the stairs.  
  
"Do you want me to stay Evelyn? Do you want to talk?" Rafe uncertainly questioned me.  
  
At that moment, I didn't know what I wanted. All I wanted was for Danny to be here with me, but he wasn't, and I would have to face that. But I did know one thing, that Rafe would be right there by my side.  
  
"I don't care. Stay if you want to. Just stay," I answered him as I made my way to my room. I reached my bed and flung myself upon it, sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow. I cried for everyone that day; I cried for Danny, I cried for Betty, and I cried for those innocent people that lost their lives on December 7th.  
  
*~*~*  
  
My eyes flung open the next morning as I rolled over to read the clock. It read 5:30 AM. Sighing, I threw the covers off and pulled my robe on. I picked up the tissues that were hastily thrown about and discarded them in the trash bin by the door. I walked out into the hallway, listening for the sounds of anyone up at this hour. I heard Sandra's and Barbara's steady breathing in the other room. I walked down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen in an attempt to make coffee, which I desperately needed. I stopped in my tracks however when I saw Rafe sitting on the couch in the living room, awake with silent tears rolling down his cheeks. I cautiously made my way towards him.  
  
"Rafe?" I questioned quietly as I kneeled down next to him. He didn't move, but I noticed that his eyes were now focused on me. I took his hand in my own and racked my brain, trying to think of things to say to make him feel better.  
  
"It's my fault," he said, taking me by surprise. I shook my head.  
  
"No Rafe, don't say that, it's not your fault. It was his time to go," I said to him.  
  
"Yes it was! I should have taken that bullet, not him," he shouted. I shook my head again as this time as my own tears started again.  
  
"No Rafe," I sobbed, unsure of what to say to him. He noticed I was crying and kneeled down in front of me and hugged me like he used to hug me before Danny, when everything was fine between us. I cried, he cried, we cried together. From then on, I knew that we would survive together. I wasn't alone anymore and I had Rafe to thank for that.  
  
*~*~* 


	2. Saying Goodbye

[The End of Innocence]  
  
[Chapter 2: Saying Goodbye]  
  
[Disclaimer: Characters belong to Randall Wallace. I'm just borrowing them.  
  
[A/N: The first chapter had to be the most intense chapter I wrote since I started writing Pearl Harbor fics. Please review on your way out, it'll mean a lot to me. I'm working on updating my other stories, so stay with me! Thx- Courtney  
  
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The funeral for Danny was held the following Saturday. The weather seemed to fit; it was cloudy and it had rained on and off throughout the day. It was to be a small military funeral and only myself, Rafe, Barbara, Sandra, Red and Colonel Doolittle attended. Rafe's parents sent their regrets, saying that they couldn't make the journey and leave the farm unattended. As I entered the chapel with Sandra, I looked around and noticed Rafe standing towards the back, talking in a quiet monotone with Red and Colonel Doolittle. He noticed me come in and gave me a small smile, which I returned somewhat awkwardly. I made my way towards the front with Sandra and sat down quickly in the first row.  
  
"Are you sure you'll be all right for this Evelyn?" Sandra questioned as she adjusted her glasses. Her voice haunted me and I was hesitant in responding.  
  
"I think so," I said shakily.  
  
"Okay," she said to me as she then somberly turned and looked straight ahead. I sighed and placed my hand on my abdomen and stroked it. I had been doing that a lot lately; I guess it made me feel closer to Danny in a strange way. I didn't notice that Rafe had taken a seat next to me until he gently tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and looked towards him. His face was twisted into a look of concern.  
  
"Hey," he said.  
  
"Hi," I returned. He ran his fingers through his hair.  
  
"How've you been holdin' up?" he asked me.  
  
"I'm ok," I answered him. "You?"  
  
"He was my best friend," he answered slowly. I grabbed his hand and stroked it as a tear fell into my lap. He brushed it away and my cheeks flushed. I still had feelings for him, that hadn't changed.  
  
"How's this one doing?" he asked, motioning towards my stomach.  
  
"Fine, only three more months," I said quietly as Rafe smiled.  
  
"That's good," he said quietly as the service began.  
  
I sat there motionless through most of the funeral as the priest gave Danny his burial rights; his wings. The pain of losing him decreased as each day went on, and I was scared that I was losing the memories we shared too. As I passed the coffin, I placed a single rose on it and quickly turned away. Rafe was going back to Tennessee to bury Danny on the farm. He had asked me if I wanted to go, but I told him that I felt like a burden and didn't want to impose on his family.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Two months had passed as June dawned on Pearl Harbor. I sat on my bed, cleaning out my personal drawer, where I kept all my letters from Rafe, Danny, and other keepsakes that were special to me. I flipped through them, and an odd shaped piece of paper fell out into my lap. I picked it up and looked at it, as memories of what Rafe and I used to share came flooding back to me. It was the swan that Rafe said had taken him six hours to fold. I chuckled at the memory and placed it on top of my dresser. I was just about finished when two pieces of paper carelessly fluttered to the ground. I reached down to pick them up and was shocked at what they were. They were two letters; one from Danny and one from Rafe. I began to read them silently to myself. I chose the one from Rafe first. The letter held memories of a better time.  
  
"When he still loved me," I said to myself quietly.  
  
*Rafe's letter*  
  
Dear Evelyn,  
  
It is cold here. So cold, it goes deep into your bones. There is one place I can go to find warmth, and that is to think of you…  
  
I scanned over the letter as a tear rolled down my cheek. I wish Rafe and I still had that love, and I wish he never went to England. A bunch of What If's? ran through my mind at that moment as did a bunch of regrets. I folded Rafe's letter and placed it back into the drawer as I picked up Danny's letter. I scanned it, until I reached the bottom, rereading the line over and over again.  
  
"I love you, and always will."  
  
I sighed and folded the letter back up, placing on my dresser with the origami swan. I placed my hand on my belly and smiled to myself. Only a month before I became a mother. I lazily placed everything back into the drawer and gently closed it. I heard a knock on the doorframe and looked up to see Rafe standing there. I smiled as he leaned lazily on the doorframe.  
  
"Hey," I said as I beckoned him inside.  
  
"Hi Ev'lyn," he answered in that Southern drawl of his. "What are you doin'? he asked me.  
  
"Cleaning, but I definitely need a break," I laughed as he smiled at me.  
  
"Wanna go take a walk with me?" he asked. I nodded and followed him out the door.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
We ended up walking along the beach, catching up on the things we missed. I gazed out towards the horizon. Rafe noticed where I was gazing and interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"Thinkin' about Danny?" he asked me. I shook my head.  
  
"No, just thinking about my future and this little one," I said calmly.  
  
I stopped walking and sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry Rafe," I said to him. He glanced down at me and shrugged.  
  
"Sorry for what Ev?" he asked me. I shrugged.  
  
"For everything. For hurting you, and ruining everything between us," I said shakily. He grabbed my hand and entwined his fingers through mine.  
  
"I have something I want to ask you Ev'lyn," Rafe began as he let go of my hand. He got down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket. My hand flew up to my mouth as I stood there, shocked.  
  
"Ev'lyn, the day I met you I fell in love with you. I love you with all my heart and soul, and I decided that the day I got back from England I would ask you to be mine always. I want to put our past behind us, Ev, and focus on what's ahead of us. I want to grow old with you Ev, and have children and a house with a white picket fence. But most of all I want you to know that I love you, and I've never stopped loving you. Evelyn Stewart, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" he asked me.  
  
I nodded, and for the first time tears of joy streamed down my face, replacing the tears of sorrow that I had cried so many nights before. He slipped the ring on my finger and I noticed the inscription on it: ES & RM Forever Love. I hugged him as he kissed my nose. Danny still held a place in my heart, and he always would. I would never forget him, and I had a part of him with me always. He gave me the greatest gift of all. A child. I entwined my fingers with Rafe's as he wrapped an arm around my waist. Together we walked back towards the nurses' quarters as the sun set behind us.  
  
*~*~*  
  
  
  
(AN: Sorry for the lack of updates!) 


	3. Paradise

*The End of Innocence*  
  
*Chapter 3—Paradise*  
  
*Disclaimer—I don't own the PH characters, they belong to Randall Wallace.*  
  
A/N: Alright, Chapter 3 everybody! I'm skipping to the wedding…because I finally know where I want this story to go…hehe. Enjoy! Don't forget to R&R!  
  
"Ev? Are you up sweetie?" Barbara shouted down the hall. I groggily rolled over and glanced at my alarm clock. 8 AM. I was about to fall back asleep until something clicked in my head that today was the wedding.  
  
"Shit!" I shouted as I hastily jumped out of bed and toddled down the hall into Barbara's room. Sandra was in the process of curling Barbara's hair and when I entered the room, they both collapsed into giggles.  
  
"What?" I asked them. They both shrugged. Puzzled, I turned around and headed back to my room with Sandra at my heels.  
  
"So are you ready?" she asked me. I nodded slowly.  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be I guess," I giggled. After a few more minutes of talking and laughing, Barbara knocked on the door.  
  
"Ladies, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but if we all don't get ready, I don't think there's going to be a wedding today," she giggled.  
  
  
  
About an hour later, Sandra and Barbara had finally finished with my hair, makeup, and my dress.  
  
"Oh Ev, you look so beautiful!" Sandra exclaimed happily.  
  
I walked over to the mirror and glanced at myself. Sandra had decided to pin my hair up, but she left a few curls down to frame my face. My dress was simple but elegant—it was sleeveless, with a short train. Roses adorned the bodice of it, and even though I was eight months pregnant, it concealed my stomach enough for me to be satisfied.  
  
"Do you have everything?" Barbara asked me as we made our way to her car.  
  
I nodded, and after Sandra placed the flowers in the back we were off to the church.  
  
*~*  
  
"This is it!" Barbara squealed as we stood in line behind the double oak doors that led into the church.  
  
I smiled. Colonel Doolittle patted my arm as we inched closer and closer to the doors. Colonel Doolittle was giving me away, since my father was in New York and couldn't make it to the wedding. Sandra winked at me, and before I knew it the wedding march was playing and she was already at the altar, followed by Barbara.  
  
I took a deep breath and slowly started walking down the aisle. All the faces that I passed were a blur. The only person that I could focus on was Rafe's smiling face as I neared him. I made my way to the front and handed my flowers to Sandra and turned to face him. He linked his fingers in mine and smiled.  
  
"I love you," he whispered quietly.  
  
"I love you too," I whispered back as the priest began the ceremony.  
  
"…Do you, Rafe Thomas McCawley, take thee, Evelyn Marie Stewart to be thy wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and long as you both shall live?"  
  
"I do," Rafe stated as he winked at me, causing me to slightly giggle.  
  
"…And do you, Evelyn Marie Stewart, take thee, Rafe Thomas McCawley to be thy husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and as long as you both shall live?"  
  
"I do,' I said as the priest nodded.  
  
"May I have the rings please?" the priest questioned. Red handed over the rings and the priest placed one in both our hands. After the ring ceremony, the priest clapped his hands together.  
  
"By the power invested in me and in this church, I now pronounce you man and wife…you may kiss the bride," the priest shouted as Rafe bent in to kiss me.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman, may I present for the very first time Mr. and Mrs. Captain Rafe McCawley!" the priest exclaimed as everybody applauded us.  
  
Rafe linked our hands, and together we walked down the aisle, finally together as one.  
  
*~*  
  
Later that night at the reception, after much talking and dancing, I had finally gotten a chance to sit down. I sighed as I pulled my shoes off and rubbed my swollen ankles.  
  
"Thank God there's only about three weeks left," I sighed as I patted my stomach.  
  
"Talking to yourself again Mrs. McCawley?" Rafe whispered in my ear as he kissed me cheek.  
  
"Mrs. McCawley…I like the sound of that," I giggled. He grabbed my hand and helped me stand up.  
  
"Care to have one more dance?" he asked me as he led me to the dance floor. I nodded as he slipped his hand around my waste. We swayed to the music, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I saw all our friends dancing, including a drunk Gooz who was stumbling over poor Barbara's feet.  
  
"Hey Rafe! Congrats man!" Gooz yelled across the dance floor as everybody laughed.  
  
"Maybe you should lay off the drinks pal!" Rafe yelled back. Gooz shrugged and continued dancing with Barbara.  
  
Rafe and I were dancing into the beginning of our fourth song when I felt a sharp pain in my back. I sucked my breath in and stopped dancing. Rafe glanced down at me, obviously concerned.  
  
"Ev? You ok sweetheart?" he asked me. I slowly nodded as I motioned that I needed to sit down. He led me to the table and helped me into the seat. He sat down next to me, obviously concerned.  
  
"What happened?" he asked as I took a sip of my water. "Do I really dance that bad?" he grinned. I laughed as I shook my head.  
  
"No, the baby just kicked," I said as he nodded. I focused on Gooz as he attempted to give a speech, but was too drunk to say much.  
  
"Rafffeee, man, you're like my brotherrr, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. Damn, I sound drunk don't I? Well anyway, good luck man, and congrats," Gooz sat down and somehow ended up on the floor instead of in his seat.  
  
"I'll be right back," Rafe said to me as he made his way over to Gooz. I nodded, and went to sit back down until I felt this sharp and sudden pain in my abdomen. I doubled over in pain and grabbed the table cloth.  
  
"Ev?!" Sandra yelled out as she helped me sit down. Rafe looked up and sprinted over to me and kneeled in front of me.  
  
"Ev? Are you ok? What's going on?" he asked me. I struggled to catch my breath as another pain hit me. I gripped his hand until it was over with.  
  
"I think…I think…this baby wants to come out and now," I said calmly. Rafe nodded as Sandra helped me to my feet. I stood up as Rafe placed his hand around my waste and gently led me towards the exit.  
  
"Hey! Where ya goin buddy?" Gooz yelled out.  
  
"Ev's having the baby!," Rafe answered.  
  
"Great timing pal!" Gooz laughed.  
  
"Thanks Gooz," I muttered as another contraction hit me full on.  
  
*~*  
  
A/N: Cliffhanger! Well, not really. LOL. 


End file.
